How Moms Take a Shower

Take a Shower by Malte

Case One: During the School Year

1. Grab a set of clean clothes.
2. Grab some clean towels.
3. Shower.
4. Dry off.
5. Get dressed.
6. Make sure bathroom is clean.


Elapsed time: 10-15 minutes.

Case Two: During Summer Break

1. Decide to take a shower.
 Laundry by Autumn2May2. Hunt down clean clothes from the various places they may be waiting for you to fold them.
3. Wait until kids are all entranced by various media.
4. Head to bathroom.
5. Remember last night Kid #3 had a late bath and left all his toys in the bathtub.
6. Start removing said toys.
7. Realize Kid #3 managed to melt an ENTIRE BAR OF SOAP in his bath, causing everything to be covered with a lovely white film.
8. New plan: Put toys in toy bucket, leave toys by sink, wash when done with shower.
9. Start to leave the toys by the sink.
10. Realize you now have attention of half the kids and as soon as you leave, they will probably grab said toys and end up losing them all over the house, while still completely filthy.
Clean Toys by Autumn2May11. Decided easiest way to avoid situation is to wash the toys before you shower.
12. Wash toys.
13. Start to head to the bathroom. Notice your toothbrush in next to the kitchen sink (never a good sign).
14. Thoroughly scrub toothbrush.
15. Finally return to bathroom.
16. Discover it is occupied.
17. Wait for Kid #1 to finish.
18. Try to enter bathroom.
19. Are stopped by Kid #3 who now has to go.
20. Wait for Kid #3 to finish.
21. Decide when Kid #3 is done to make Kid #2 go so he doesn’t interrupt you 5 seconds after you’ve turned the water on.
22. Wait for Kid #2 to finish.
23. Announce you are showering.
24. Lock self in bathroom.
 Shampoo by Autumn2May25. Realize there is now no bar soap (see above).
 26. Decide to use shampoo instead, cause whatever…
27. Realize there is very little shampoo left because yesterday Kid #1 & #3 were “having a day” so you couldn’t get to the store before their ADHD meds wore off.
28. Grab the hand soap from the sink and shower using a mixture of that and the last bit of shampoo.
29. Get dressed while answer 8 questions through the bedroom door.
30. Return to bathroom.
31. Clean wet toilet paper off the floor??
32. Calculate how many more days until school returns.


Elapsed time: 1 hour.

It is now almost 12pm and you get to make everyone lunch. Have a great day! 😀

Title image by Malte.


One thought on “How Moms Take a Shower

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